Listening to: Swing Swing – All American Rejects
Mood: Pissed.
Mood: Pissed.
If you don’t associate the name with the story/are an
ostrich, this asshat is the pastor that advised punishing your effeminate sons
and forcing your daughters to look pretty.
Yes, it’s an oversimplification of the situation, but it’s just so you
get the gist of it.
Watch out ladies and gentlemen, I am whipping out the soap
box again. I don’t want to be a blogger who just rants about stupid stuff I
don’t agree with all the time, but I feel like this is one of those situations
where you can’t just sit quietly and not say anything.
Pastor Harris (and I say that only out of years of it being
drilled into me that the only proper way to address a minister is Pastor, even
if you can’t stand them), may I ask you a question? Do you have an effeminate
son? Do you have a tomboy daughter? If your answer is no, please shut the hell
up right now. Even the very best parents among us wish for a training manual.
Talking about a child rearing situation you have no personal experience in
makes you a douche at best. Absolutely no one should listen to you spout off
such damaging practices about things you don’t know about. Seriously.
If your answer is yes, you have my sympathy. Not because you
have a sissy as a son or a boyish daughter, but because they will doubtlessly
end up with a pretty deep seated disgust and anger at you not accepting them as
they are. If I may remind you of a few small things: 1. You are a parent first
and foremost in your life. Your job is to love and cherish your children. There
are no guarantees that you will end up with the same life views as your child.
Don’t waste a beautiful, natural relationship with your child over who they
are. Your job is to love the hell out of that child and raise him or her to the
best of your ability. 2. There is absolutely nothing in the bible about shaming
your child for being different. I’m not even arguing the religious views on
homosexuality. God specifically said love one another – this goes 6 fold for
your family. Buck up and be the man your family needs you to be; a Godly one.
What this comes down to folks is religion. Now I’m not
knocking religion – it definitely has a role to play for people with
spirituality and human needs. What I really strongly object to is the sense of
righteous morality that makes people judge others based on their singular view
of the world and feel better about themselves. I’m not going to go into
homosexuality in this post beyond a touch, because this issue could apply to
almost any of the other Christian sins – homosexuality just seems to be a hot
issue right now.
I am so tired of listening to people spout off a view that
they know is ill informed or will stir up controversy for the sake of argument.
You don’t talk to an atheist about how God requires us to pray in a church once
a week unless you want an argument. Look, we’re all entitled to our own views
on religion and existentiality. Everyone arrives at their own truth sooner or
later. It is egotistical in the extreme to figure that you have thought more or
arrived at a more correct conclusion than anyone else. You simply cannot make
anyone else subscribe to your brand of religion. Nor does your brand make you more righteous,
spiritual, or moral.
I understand that labeling and sorting things into
convenient parameters helps humans to deal with the world. It’s a scary,
confusing, chaotic place. This is not an excuse to dehumanize those who are
different than us. We need to call out this fear and start seeing things for
what they are and start remembering that in spite of it all, we are all humans.
If you feel the need, use religion to meet your spiritual needs, but do not for
one minute think this makes you different or special in relation to the rest of
the human race. Having a belief system does not in any way excuse you from
respecting humanity. Belief systems and religion are a way for you to conduct
yourself, not impose arbitrary rules on those around you.
Children are people too. Being children they need a lot of guidance,
but they also need love, respect and acceptance too. It is criminal in my mind
to tell a child that they are wrong in whom they are and that they should put
on an act to be something else. How can you raise a secure, happy child if you
can’t accept that they are who they are? It may work to subvert a child’s natural
self when they are young, but it will come out with a vengeance when they get a
little bit older and rightfully start thinking for themselves. They will then
resent the fact that they never got acceptance from the only people in the
world they have a right to expect it from and will think that there is
something inherently bad with themselves that they had to be something else.
The world is a brutal, nasty place. Helping your child to accept who they are
and be proud of it is one of the best things that you can do for your child in
order for them to be confident enough to navigate life – no matter whom or what
they are.
What are your thoughts? Is it acceptable to do this for a
lesser degree for other issues? For example, we use behavior modification to
stop tantrums. Where do think the line is between changing who they are and
helping them function in a society?
Becky
