Giving Advice to Friends

Mood: Thoughtful and pensive

Listening to: Who Made Who (ACDC) and the beautiful silence that is one child in school and the other asleep.

Recently, both the husband and I had instances where we felt the need (and in husband’s case was asked) to dispense some life advice. I think most people give advice on things that they have been through, either positive or negative and just want to pass their knowledge along so that someone else can be successful at something or avoid something painful. I usually resist giving advice for people unless really, really pushed. I feel that even if I give solid advice, people will do what they’re going to do and need to learn their own lessons in life. While I try not to grudge them over this, on some level I get frustrated if a person doesn’t listen to my advice. Hubby on the other hand passes life advice out like candy. He’s usually pretty good at giving solid, logical advice too.

My advice was to a good friend about kids. I have some very definite theories that resulted from both my upbringing and having dealt with my own kids for the past 7 years. However, kids are just one of those areas that people just don’t listen to others about and can’t really understand the importance until they have their own kids. Nothing against my friend and whether or not she even remembers the advice when she does have her own kids, it was just something that seemed important to pass along at the time and I would love to see her successful at parenting. I’m not trying to sound like I’m a perfect parent (I’m DEFINITELY NOT!) or have all the right answers (I DON’T), I just have some strong opinions based on what I’ve heard and seen in my kids and others and things that I think are important to raising healthy, respectful children. God knows there are plenty who aren’t!

My husband’s advice to his friend was of a rather different nature. His friend asked him some very hard questions to do with a situation he found himself in. I’m not quite sure why he asked my husband for advice as the situation he is in can only be solved by himself and the other person involved. Either which way, my husband was afraid that I would be upset with him for the advice that he gave as he and I see this situation in two very different ways. I apologize for all of the talking around the actual problem, but privacy is prudent in this story. Anyhow, I did not begrudge his advice, but urged him to carefully consider whether or not he had any place actually giving advice in a such a person and painful situation as his friend found himself in. I told him that people can benefit from a calm, logical friend in a time of crisis, but eventually need to make their own decisions.

There are many things that I’ve found that you can share with close friend and family, but advice just doesn’t seem to be one of them for me. It’s like giving a friend a haircut because you successfully gave your kids haircuts. Just too many things that could go wrong and create hard feelings.

Becky

The evilness that is a Rug Doctor.

Mood: Thoughtful and pensive

Listening to: I Alone (Live) and the beautiful silence that is one child in school and the other asleep.

Ah yes. Rug Doctor. I still see you sitting there in Stop and Shop with your shiny red mechanical innocence. “Rent me! You can have clean couches and rugs again!” you seem to radiate.

Never again will I fall for your promises of easy cleaning and fresh smelling couches and rugs. You sir, are much more trouble than you are worth! My couches smelled pretty musty, so I figured I’d rent one of you from Stop and Shop. It seemed much easier than buying a rug cleaner I didn’t need. To the customer service counter I went and rented you, buying soap and all. I wrestled you into my trunk and home I went, excited to clean said couches. I’m pretty sure this is a Stop and Shop policy, but you don’t even come with an upholstery brush or soap. The ladies behind the counter did not tell me that needs to be rented separately, resulting in my need to return to the store with two tired, cranky children and a tired, hungry, cranky husband. After all, you were only mine for 24 hours. It was bad enough hauling your bulky mechanical self out to the car and wrestling you into the trunk the first time. After that, your upholstery cleaner did not even work, in spite of several calls to a suspiciously mechanical sounding customer service representative that resulted in the first tidal flow of soapy water flooding the living room rug. Trip number 3 to Stop and Shop for a replacement upholstery brush only to find out that they all were marked broken – but just take this one and try it. Hmmm. Sneaky of you. Give me some amount of hope in this fiasco. After returning home, things really started going south. You did indeed spray soapy water all over my couches and half heartedly suck some of the dirty water back out. Unfortunately, this did not seem to remove any of the dirt or stains that were visible in the first place. So….more soapy water was sprayed and sucked out. The couches now looked halfway presentable, if still soaking wet. About this time, I was going to move you to the other room to clean another rug, only to notice another puddle on the rug, this one of epic proportions. Seriously, I don’t know how you managed to leak a soaking layer of water over HALF the rug while I used the upholstery tool. If I wanted epic puddles, rug doctor, I would have just gone out and gotten a large, un-potty trained dog. Thank heavens it was my rug and not a borrowed one that I was going to do next! I read the directions, I do believe water is supposed to go out one end or the other of you. Not both. Funny thing is, the more water I tried to suck out of the rug, the more you seemed to leak back onto the rug, even thought the dirty water was going into another tank specifically for dirty water. Maybe that was your game. Let’s recycle some of the dirty water into the wash tank and watch her brain explode as water keeps leaking! It took me a VERY long time to suck up all that water so that I didn’t have to worry about damaging the wood floor under said rug. It’s a very good thing you don’t have ears, my dear rug doctor, or they may have been burned off with some of the words I was screaming at you. At that point, I was done with you. Back into the trunk you were wrestled and then rolled back into the store without so much as a backward glance or a goodbye from me. Good riddance. Next time, I think washing things with Febreeze may not be the worst idea. At least I won’t be sucking water out of soaking wet rugs and couches for 3 hours.

Becky

The Exterminator and His Dog

I’m not even going to apologize about disappearing down the rabbit hole for months at a time again. That’s just life for me right now. Between the “part time” job that really isn’t all that part time, keeping up with my ridiculously energetic munchkins, sleep deprivation from hubby’s newly found interest in learning to play the guitar until 3 am, and keeping up with the demands of the family on the apartment (i.e. picking up, cleaning, dishes, laundry, ect), my creative juices have pretty much been put on the back burner. Ok, so maybe three rows back. Excuses, excuses.

A couple of days ago, I got a notice underneath my door. This may sound unusual, but remember that in New York, that’s one of the primary ways of communication between renters and their tenants. So the note was about a visit from the exterminator tomorrow. Involving a dog. Ehm, what? Like most New York buildings, we have the usual problems with roaches and mice. What I’m wondering, is what in the world is the dog for?? I’ve heard of rat dogs, do we have rats?? Do we have some dogs that are really talented at searching out roaches and maybe we’ll finally be rid of them? You’re right, that might be a bit too much to hope for.

They nicely asked that we don’t leave any food around the house open. I’m rather curious about that too. Do they not want the dog eating things off people’s floors? Or would they become distracted from finding whatever prey it was looking for? I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

Becky

Let's Wash it with Febreeze

Listening to: Olivia
Mood: Blah

So I saw this commercial the other day on tv. A mom walks into her teen son’s room and says, “Whew, it stinks in here, aren’t you having company later? We have to wash this entire room.” The son then says, “Wash the entire room, how?” “We’ll wash it with Febreeze.” Is the mom’s answer.

Um, what? This sounds to me distinctly like something the teenage boy should be saying instead of the mom? Really? “Washing” a stinky teen boy room with Febreeze? Now I LOVE Febreeze. But I’m afraid that Febreeze would have quit a challenge with this. Washing sheets, curtains, and vacuuming a room would be much more appropriate. Are we really getting SO lazy as a society that we spray things with air freshener and call it clean? What next, our clothes? Oy.

Becky

When the Children Cry

Mood: A little Tired
Listening to: Little Bear. Ugh.

Anyone seen the White Lion video for When Children Cry? Oh my god. It’s hilarious.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything else from White Lion, but I’d heard this song before. Can anyone else hear the panties dropping back in the 80’s when these guys started playing this song? Seriously, all the chicks had to go nuts when they started playing this song. When the children sing, a new world begins. Really, is that all it takes? We must have had a bazillion and one new worlds so far.

It’s pretty funny to watch the lead singer too. He knows he’s hot stuff and that the chicks are literally fighting to be with him after this song.

I love 80’s hair bands and their music videos. They’re just so much fun to watch.

Becky

Be a Pack Rat

Listening to: Bolt, for the 20 bazillionth time
Mood: Groggy

We’re having a relaxing day on this wonderfully hot Sunday. I’m finding it challenging to stay awake, so I thought I would blog to restimulate my frontal cortex. I think it’s my frontal cortex anyhow.

I recently saw an ad for a “pod” type storage company called Pack Rat. Pod type storage companies bring a large storage crate, a “pod”, and you fill it with whatever crap you don’t have room for in your home. The storage fairy then comes and whisks it away to storage land until you request that it be returned.

I find the whole concept of putting your stuff in storage for more than a short while to be absolutely ridiculous. If you have too much stuff for what your living space is now, it’s time to get rid of some stuff. Not put it in storage. I guess the thing that gets me about this company in particular is that its not masquerading itself as a short term storage solution. It seems to be marketing itself to people who just have too much stuff. And they don’t want to get rid of any.of. it. Yes! Be a packrat! Accumulate so much stuff that it actually starts costing you money to own it beyond the purchase price! This is fantastic. Don’t want get rid of that piano you never play and those 536 collector McDonald’s toys you swear will be putting your kids through school? No problem. Not only will we store it for you, we’ll just be taking some of that “college education money” and using it to put our own kids through college. Thanks.

I live in a 1100 square foot apartment in NY. We’re actually really blessed because for where we live, 1100 square feet in an apartment is just above a luxury that you usually get charged an arm and leg and first born for. Hubby and I have had many, many a passive aggressive argument about the amount of stuff that we have. We have 2 kids, so much of our stuff is tied to the kids. But we have arguments every year about the amount of books and Christmas decorations we have. I’m ok with the amount of stuff we have, hubby is not so ok. I think 75% of our closet space is taken up with kids clothing. I saved everything from our eldest daughter (5 years old) for the younger daughter (now 1). So while it’s painful for our closets, it’s saved us a lot of money not having to by the youngest her own wardrobe. The clothes slowly get passed along to others (my best friend is having her third baby, a little girl, in July!) as the youngest grows out of them, so our closet space is slowly returning. Sometimes even I wish we had about half the stuff that we do, but we couldn’t be able to have people over and wait quite so long to do laundry, so I’m ok with it.

But seriously Pack Rat Company, encouraging hording is never a good thing. Encourage temporary storage for if a person is moving if you want, but encouraging people to pay for storage instead of getting rid of stuff – not cool.

Becky

Popping my head out of the gopher hole to see the sun

Mood: Sunshine and warmth deprived
Listening to: Collective Soul - Let Your Light Shine Down

Um hi. Are you still here? I believe I used to blog on here. I’ve been trying to get back for quite some time, but you know how it is. Life has been occurring, children have been distracting. Anyhow.

So. You might want to take a seat for this one. I got a job. A real, adult-type-paying-job that has nothing to do with serving food. I do editing for an online education/certification firm, which shall remain nameless in the instance that they don’t want to be named. I work part time from home building and editing courses through online tools. It really wasn’t what I wanted when I interviewed with the company, but I enjoy it a lot now that I’m doing it. It has helped my family adjust slowly to my working. Hubs in particular was concerned that he might be asked to do more work around the house if I was working full time. I know, you poor, poor baby. I do wish I was a little busier with it, but I guess I’d rather be a little under-busy rather than swamped. I also get paid quite a bit more than I was expecting, so I’m definitely counting my blessings.
Aside from that, just caught up in the day to day whirlwind of raising my girls and going through life with the husband. Waiting for a visit from the mother on Memorial day. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep on top of this too. I love writing and have missed it in the time that I’ve been too sucked up with real life to blog.

Becky