Saturday, September 29, 2012

On The Guys Who Aren’t Really Good for You: Bad Boys

Something that's been weighing on my mind lately. This is from a post I put up on another of my blogs a while back.

I have a thing for bad boys. At least in my head I do. I married a guy who couldn’t be an asshole Bad Boy if he tried – he just doesn’t have it in him. This is absolutely fine with me, I like stability. It does, however, lead my imagination to be more oriented on guys that I would never glance at twice in real life.

I’ll give you an example. Axl Rose in the 80’s. I would bang the ever loving shit out of that man in my head, but never put up with his crap in real life.

What is it about a man that looks at you with that intense emotion in his eyes. The one that leaves you half afraid/half hoping he’ll shove you up against a wall and take you right there because he just has to have you. Now. A man who owns his passion and throws a middle finger up at what the world thinks of it. It makes me hot every single time.

I even found a link online on how to be a bad boy:
I’m not vouching for these suggestions, I just found it interesting. Some are better than others.

Boys, since I like you, I’m gonna break down ladies’ fascination with bad guys along with some tips on how to rock the attitude. Everyone whines that they bad boys win. Actually, it’s more complicated than that. Pussy boys always finish last, no matter what. Here’s some tips on how to be a bad boy without being bad for yourself or your girl:

1. Most importantly, you can be a bad boy without being an asshole. We don’t actually want you to act like assholes. Seriously. Don’t be a douche. We may stick around for a while for the sex if it’s hot, and for the fascination, but sooner or later, everyone gets tired of a man child that doesn't know how to act.
Sexual Self Confidence - the bad boy has it. He’s confident enough to own the passion and sexuality that radiates off of him. If you are confident in yourself and who you are, it makes us want you regardless of whether you are actually bad or not. Learn your own body (as if any guy doesn’t, ha!), and more importantly, learn her body and learn it well. It’s kind of hard to be confident about yourself if you don’t know where the important parts are. Making her get off should be like a mission for you. Do it gladly and without whining – you know you’re gonna get off anyways. After all, if the sex is good, she’s gonna want a repeat show more often, which is good for you both. 

2. Bad Boys don’t need permission to make decisions. With all the squawking lately about feminism and how we don’t like chauvinistic guys, we have sacrificed men who make confident decisions. Make a decision and be confident about it. As long as it’s not a major life decision, you don’t need permission/validation from us or anyone else all the time. Knock it off with the asking for permission constantly.

3. Bad boys own who they are, not what they aren't. Going back to Axl Rose. Do any of you think he’s less of a cocky, arrogant asshole now that he’s 50 and no longer owning the world? The answer is no. He still acts like the world is glad to have him around. If you’re a 45 year old bald, chunky accountant, you rock that for all it’s worth. Looks matter, but they matter far less than a man who is confident and comfortable with who he is. Know who you are, know what you’re good at and own that shit.

4. Bad boys aren’t afraid to get a little rough with their girl in bed. I’m not talking bruises or abuse or any crap like that, I’m talking about being passionate. The thing is, most girls are not made of porcelain, no matter how fragile she seems or how manly this makes you feel. Most girls love the thought that their man gets so excited that he gets a little out of control occasionally. Again, a very unfortunate byproduct of feminism. If tenderness is important to your girl, by all means keep a hold of that occasionally, but don’t be a pussy all the time. She needs to know that she makes you hot too. There’s a time for touchy feeley, tender sex, and there’s a time when you need to just handle your business.

5. Bad boys can appreciate a strong girl and protect a fragile one. Strong women are not a threat to your masculinity and are actually an asset to you. The more strong and confident a lady is, the better she can have your back. It’s hard to be a strong man if you don’t have anyone to lean on. If you find a good strong girl, I suggest you hold on to that. Sometimes a girl is fragile – that’s just a part of being a girl. Take care of her, but don’t baby her. There is nothing hotter for a lady than realizing a man can take care of her if he needs to. We need to know a man can club a dinosaur over the head for us if we’re threatened – or at least stand up for us in a bar if another guy is being an asshole. That is sexy. I know, it’s rather chauvinistic, but that’s the way it is.

6.Bad boys don’t let themselves be turned into bitches. This is going to offend some of you guys, but I tell it how it is. Do not be a bitch for any girl, no matter how hot she is. She should not be walking all over you. You are the man in the relationship, you should act like it. Unless you’re in it just for the sex, and there’s something to be said for that too, you should never let yourself or your girl make you feel like you matter less than she does in the relationship; you are equals. You will never have her respect or satisfaction of a good relationship if this gets lost. Respect yourself, and you’ll get respect from her. If you still don’t get any respect, I strongly suggest running away as fast as you can in the other direction.

I hope this has helped all you gents out there who whine that women always go for the bad ones. Yes, too many of us chicks have a fascination with that, but this can work in your favor without turning you into an asshole or tanking a relationship. Give it a try!



~*~MizTink~*~ said...

Great advice Becky!! This is why I love my man :) He's bad without being a douche about it LoL

Stephen Hayes said...

Our son is thirty and looking for the right woman. He's good-looking and employed, kind, thoughtful and generous. I've joke with him that he needs to stop treating women so well; they prefer bad boys. I'm going to make sure he reads your post.

Kianwi said...

Well said :) I definitely don't really want a bad boy, but a man who is just sweet all the time is a turn off. I love a man who gives me my way and dotes on me, for sure, but if he always gives me my way or let's me run things? Yuck.

Gossip_Grl said...

Love your post! When I first met my hubby he had long hair and that is the first thing my momma assumed about him. All these years later and he keeps his hair cut and she says, He's been a good son in law! :) Def enjoyed reading your posting!

Becky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Becky said...

@Miz Tink - thanks! You must have caught one of the good ones. ;-)
@Stephen - I don't think it's about not treating women right, it's more about confidence and not being a doormat. All the best for your son an his search for a great girl!
@Kianwi - thanks! No joke - man up.
@Gossip Girl - thank you! My husband is as clean cut as they come and my mom hated him at first anyhow too. ;-) She's since revised her opinion too. Can't imagine what would have happened if I brought someone...a little more "interesting" home. Ha!

Michael G DAgostino said...

I'm the complete opposite of all of that. I play the kind, gentle sweetheart. I'm also single. Go figure.

Becky said...

@Michael - ah young one. Patience my friend.

I know this is kind of funny to say because I really don't know you at all, but you seem to me to be one of the good ones who has his head on his shoulders straight. You don't seem to be missing confidence (from the one podcast I heard from you and Rusty), so I'm sure it's just a matter of finding the right chick for you.

Michael G DAgostino said...

I sure hope so, because the whole bad boy thing wouldn't suit me at all.