Monday, August 6, 2012

God Save the Queen

Mood: Meh, it’s Monday
Listening to: Black – Pearl Jam

Happy Monday Internets. Well, as happy as Monday gets.  When I had to get up at 7 am this morning, I was decidedly less than thrilled that I could not continue my weekend laziness. Such is life. 2 cups of coffee and half a day later and I've managed to mostly get my violent tendencies from sleep deprivation under control. This post has absolutely nothing to do with the Queen. Or drag queens. You've been warned.

This morning at 8 am, some bugger was screaming at the top of his lungs out in the courtyard. I counted to 30 in my very sleepy mind in an attempt to not get up and chuck heavy objects at him. Have some decency! I don't want to hear your angry tirade any time! At 8 am, it just turns into a control exercise so I don't go stab you. You're welcome for my years of practice, you douche canoe. It turns out, the guy who was doing this is the sports coach for the kids in our complex and he was threatening to jump off his balcony. He wasn't suicidal, just mad about something; it makes no sense to me either. I am super glad my kiddos lost interest in that class a few months back. I hate this type of drama and I don't want them anywhere near it. That being said, if you start that shit again before 10 am, I will go push you off that balcony myself.

If anyone has any tips about getting rid of ants (why yes, it is still that same bloomin onion ant problem that I’ve been battling since we returned from Sri Lanka) or fruit flies, please be a dear and post a comment. There are few things in life that can make me aggravated as quickly as walking into a cloud of fruit flies. I really don’t get it. I don’t even have any fruit hanging around on the counters – it’s all in the fridge. They’re not particularly fast fliers or expert ninjas at blending in like the mosquitoes here, but those guys have orgies every 2.5 minutes (ok, so this is an exaggeration, but not by much. Remember Freshmen biology?) so no matter how many you kill, there are always some hiding that then reproduce.

In other news, I can’t spell exaggeration and of course spell check can never figure out my butchery so I have to ask the Google wizard every.single.last.time. It gets old. Egsaduration, exaduration, eggodamnit, where’s my thesaurus that won’t help me because I can’t spell it in the first place.

I have obtained another young mind to practice my musical sorcery on. Ok, so it’s piano lessons, but that sounds way cooler. I’m stoked. At the rate my students are going, I get at least 1 (and it’s usually not the same one each week – go figure) that actually practices on any given week. Hopefully this will up my odds for productive lessons. Nothing is more painful for a teacher than sitting through a lesson in which the student looks at the music like it just sprouted donkey tails and they have most definitely never seen any of this before. Ever. Even though they swear they practiced. Mental face-palm. Hopefully once I put up some posters I can get even more kids (read crazy parents) to sign up and make life even more interesting.

I am still nagging Daddy G to get busy on the car buying business. After 3 painful run ins with taxis/auto rickshaws this weekend, I’m about done with this nonsense.  Look, if you’re going to give me an outrageous rate for taking me from one place to another and then ask me how much I’ll pay when I laugh at you, don’t try and make me feel bad because I offered you what it was worth at less than half and you accepted. I won’t pay you anymore because you quoted so high in the first place, you ridiculous clown, so just let it go instead of trying to make me feel guilty. It ain’t happening. Screaming to your auto rickshaw friend who is driving next to us all the way across town will just make me not tip you. Seriously – that is beyond ridiculous. By the way, we do understand enough Kannada to know that you guys were talking about how much you scammed both of us for. It was SO tempting to kidney sucker punch you. Good thing I’m trying to not teach my daughter’s that particularly useful trick until they’re a bit older.

One more question for those who are much more knowledgeable than me. Why does Itunes fuck around with my music folders?? If I rename things or move them, Itunes moves them again, back where I had them. What's up with this? I'm really nutty about organization and having things labeled correctly. This kind of thing makes me want to go pull out my hair, one strand at a time. Is there anything that makes this process easier?



Rusty said...

I heard you have to wear a turtle neck if you want to configure an Apple product. They own you. My hatred for iTunes is really strong. It is such a piece of bloated crap that I just want to beat it to death with a shovel.

Rusty said...

Plus, I have no idea how to stop ants or fruit flies.


Becky said...

Rusty - Shit. I have a principle objection to turtle neck shirts - I guess the secrets of the Itunes is out of my reach. Crap. I happen to love my ipod, but for no other reason than I don't have another Mp3 player. Do you use a different program? If so, which one?

Hmmm. Napalm. I may have to try that. Good thing it's not cockroaches - those bastards are immune to napalm.