Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Suitcase Loot, Workaholics, Cars, and Anti Socialism - It's been a busy weekend

Mood: Neutral. Don’t laugh, that’s the best description I can come up with right now. Not good or bad, just meh.
Listening to: Dirty Little Thing – Velvet Revolver

So. Daddy G has once again safely landed up in Bangalore. The G household is more than thrilled to have him back - especially me.  I tend to function better with him around, but I won’t gag you with all of the sap that goes along with that. Anyhow. One of the reasons we are glad he is back is all the loot he brought with him. I would rather he not leave, but it is lots of fun to open the suitcase and see what he brought us, even if I know what I asked for and it’s mostly simple things like caramel coffee syrup and cranberries. Take note Craisins, I don’t know if you have any other fans who get quite so excited about getting a few bags of Craisins than me. Am I getting paid for this lovely endorsement, unfortunately not. One more thing: Target you are on notice.  I know what size jeans I wear. When did you decide that regular jeans should sit just over my pubic bone, be ridiculously tight and seem to be geared towards a junior sizing than regular jeans. Not cool.  I just can’t pull that look off anymore. I’m 30, not 17. So yeah, the jeans were a disappointment. I’m not looking forward to walking around with too loose jeans until Daddy G heads back to the states.

Speaking of which, what is it with workaholic men? Daddy G was back in our house for all of 7 hours (5 of which he was asleep) before he was ever so curiously pondering the fact that there was only 6 weekends left until he left for another trip. Of course I took the mature route and asked him if he would really rather be in the US without us because he can’t seem to let the whole damn idea go for awhile and just enjoy being home. Because, you know, I’m such an amazing wife like that. If I can’t control it, I’ll sure as hell sniper grenade the hell out of a conversation that I’m tired of listening to. I’m more of an ostrich type of person when it comes to these things. Please stop forcing me to address this, I’m perfectly happy with my head in the sand.

Daddy G just rolled his eyes (which is the most common response when I start bringing the drama to coffee time) and told me he was just figuring out how long he had to work on buying a car here until he left again. I wasn’t too thrilled about this conversation either. We’ve been in Bangalore for 7 months now and have been going around and around about buying a car, whether we need one, why it’s so hard for Daddy G to haul his brother in law out one Saturday and get some research done, etc. To be fair, there are some really good reasons why buying a car is more difficult here than it was in the US. On the other side, there are some really good reasons why I need to have a car. Namely when my spouse disappears off to the US and I have transportation problems. It tends to make me stabby. Also, trying to walk and buy groceries in monsoon season. Stabby, people. I guess we shall see if the car materializes. I’m not counting on it as this was a point of non negotiation before he left last time, and we can all see how well that worked out as we don’t have a car right now anyways. We shall see I guess.  

I’ve been trying to be more friendly while I’m around people here. Stop laughing you bastards; it doesn’t come easy for me. I’m just as happy sitting quietly to myself or reading a book as forcing conversation with people I don’t know. In fact, that is one of the least favorite activities of mine. However, I am getting the idea that if I don’t make some friends, I probably will not escape India with my sanity intact. My mother will also probably ask me to stop calling her if I insist on talking for 3 hours each time. Because, you know, I don’t wait 2 months in between each phone call. Ahem. So I’ve left home the book I used to read at the bus stop, been trying to talk to the other moms at the bus stop and even went to a DJ night in our complex. It’s coming along slowly and is measured by one victory at a time.  I’m a nice person, just one who keeps to herself. That does not earn a person friends on this side of the world, especially if you are different. You must put a lot of effort. It’s definitely not something that comes naturally to me. I actually have to think about making conversation and reaching out to people once in a while. I feel completely normal, but reading back through this paragraph, I sound rather maladjusted. Hmm.

Anyhow, hope everyone had a lovely weekend.



Ken Degner said...

I have a little trouble talking to new people as well. BUT, If you and I were to get drunk sometime, we could go out laughing and giggling at inanimate things and chatting up strangers left and right?

Oh, my wife puts Crasins on her oatmeal!

Becky said...

Oh Ken, I love your idea. If I ever wander on down to your neighborhood, we will definitely go tear it up and chat up some strangers. There will be laughing, lots and lot of laughing.

Unfortunately, the only people who are public and drunk here are not people who I should be associating with. The criminal variety. Most folks just don't drink too often in public here. Alcohol paved the way on many a social occasion for me in the US. I've been told I talk and smile a hell of a lot more when I've had one or two. Or ten, you know. :-)

That's exactly what I do with my Craisins! I've been missing the sour side of my oatmeal since we moved here. I've substituted fresh papaya, but I've definitely missed the Craisins. :-)

NellieVaughn said...

I feel so lost. Gloria lived in India, but I don't know why. Your husband travels often, but I don't know why.

It's really difficult for me to make friends, also, because I am busy so much of the time. It doesn't help that I am terrible at approaching someone. I always feel like a creep.

Becky said...

@Nellie - Bwa ha ha ha. I've been wondering the same thing about Gloria, I just haven't gotten around to asking her. I'm always afraid I'll come off as creepy too. "So hey, I just met you on the internet and this might sound crazy, but tell me more about you and your life story!" types.

A note about Daddy G, for explanation purposes: He works for the Indian branch of an American company that may or may not rhyme with Farget. Both the American branch and Indian branch work closely together and occasionally require in person collaboration.

I'm pretty bad at starting conversations too. I can talk for all of 3 minutes then I run out of things to say.

Kianwi said...

I'm that same as you, as far as socializing. When I lived in Honduras it was such an adjustment to have to talk to my neighbors all the time. I'm a hermit once I get home...that's my comfort level :)

Gossip_Grl said...

Nice posting and I don't think I could imagine living in another country. I think because I don't think ppl would seriously understand me bcuz I would question everything. I can understand it being hard to make any friends also, but then I don't really do any neighbor socializing. :/ Since living in a trailer park I am traumatized or something and I have this "leave me alone" attitude since moving here. :/ Enjoyed reading your posting. :)

Becky said...

@Kianwi - This is very heartening to hear. I'm glad it's not just me!

@Gossip Girl - Honestly, there are very few things that have gotten to me after moving here more than this issue. I had such an amazing group of friends in New York, it was hard to have to start over again. It's just my personal observation (please don't bite me Indians!), but Indian people are not usually the first ones to reach out and be friendly to foreigners. Polite, without a doubt; real friendly takes quite a bit more time and effort. New York wasn't exactly the type to encourage being friendly with neighbors (when you hear all kinds of stuff you wish you hadn't though apartment walls, you tend to not want to talk to your neighbors) finding similar minded people to be friendly with was a bit easier.

~*~MizTink~*~ said...

If I happened to move to another country, I probably wouldn't have any friends.

The last time I moved from the town I'm in now (I can't say hometown really but it is where I graduated H.S. from) I moved to a beautiful college town. I made absolutely no friends in the 8 months I was there.

The whole time, I felt awkward talking to these strangers and would run out of things to say quickly. Then I would be embarrassed for not being able to "properly socialize" with these strangers. *sigh* It does blow.

Once I get to know someone though, that is a different matter all together. Alcoholic involvement always helps pave the way for my more talkative, get to know me side. Plus I am a lot more social when I don't actually have to talk to someone face to face. My anxiety levels don't really make it a pleasurable experience at all.

Becky said...

@Miz Tink - that's kind of what I'm afraid of here. I don't think I'll make it out of India with what little sanity I'm blessed with if I don't have at least a few friends to have fun with.

Ah,again with the alcohol. This makes me so sad that there aren't many ladies who freely drink. I've been here in Bangalore for 9 months, and in India for almost a year. I've just now gotten over my mental block and have realized that friends will not magically appear in front of me and chase me down to be my friend. Time to put some effort.