From the Archives: When Did Motley Crew Become Classic Rock?

Mood: Mello but uncomfortable

Listening to: Brobdinigan Bards - Do Virgins Taste Better?

So I was watching VH1 Classic today in hopes of hearing some Guns N Roses after accidentally erasing all of the music on my Ipod and noticed a very disturbing thing. The definition of classic rock has become some-what distorted. As an early 80’s baby, my definition of classic rock has always been pretty clear. Oldies do NOT count as classic rock. Rock and Roll also does not count. So what gives? I noticed this on the local Classic Rock radio station too. You’d think that by living so close to NYC, we wouldn’t have to deal with radio stations that just lump all kinds of music together and pass it off as a genre.  So my blog isn’t really about Motley Crew. At all. However, I just couldn’t resist ripping off that song because it reminded me of what I was thinking when I heard Elton John on the Classic Rock station yesterday.  Elton John?? Don’t get me wrong, I like Elton. But how can the queen of rock and roll possibly count as classic rock? Last time I checked, classic rock was anti – queen. Well, besides the band Queen anyhow.   Cross dressing ala Dee Snyder and Twisted Sister sure, but actually being a queen, not so much.  Will someone please tell me how oldies count as Classic Rock? It’s a totally separate genre.  It always seemed pretty well separated to me. If you can play it on an oldies or easy listening station, it is not Classic Rock. I’ve never been that into Bruce Springsteen.  I saw him on there too. Now I’m not gonna knock the Boss, I might incite a riot. He’s talented and a legend in his own right. But Classic Rock?? How does Fire count? What gives? 

This morning I saw Led Zeppelin too. Now just in case you are playing ostrich and have your head in a hold in the ground, the Zep is back together and doing concerts. This, for some odd reason, is a HUGE deal around here. I never really understood the huge deal with Led Zeppelin. I’m pretty open to different music and different styles and genres. However, all I could think of this morning when I heard this song is, “How high do you have to be to understand this?” I couldn’t understand the words, or the point of the music.  I can’t remember it, but one of the guitarists was playing the electric guitar with a violin bow. All I could think was “Oh my god. I had a cat once that made noises like this and I immediately started throwing things at it.”  I just don’t get it. Don’t send me hate mail – to each his own. I just don’t get it.  Perhaps sometime I should get totally stoned sometime and try it.

This is kind of on a tangent, but I saw this song this morning and just had to poke a little fun. We’re an American Band.  Now, this has got to be one of the silliest older songs I have ever heard.  We have plenty of stupid repetitive songs out right now, mostly in the rap genre (hello, I’ma Buy You a Drink by T-Pain), but this is the first older song I heard that I just couldn’t believe they made money off of. It’s not even that catchy! We’re an American Band. We’re an American Band. We’re coming to your town, to help you party down. We’re an American band.  That’s it. I’m getting an agent and getting into show business. If that’s all it takes – I’m cashin in.

P.S. Virgins DO Taste Better.

From the Archives: The Name Game

Mood: Content and Happy – it’s cool and sunny again yet disgruntled at the direction the US is headed

Listening to: Two Steps Behind by Def Leppard and Sponge Bob Square Pants

So there have been some amazing things happening in the news lately. And by amazing – I don’t mean in a good way. I was rather surprised that many of the books I have been reading and reviewing have come into (glaring) relevance lately and have given me some perspective on the lunacy.  As usual, I have been listening to quite a bit of Guns N Roses. Specifically, Civil War.  It’s been helping me to organize my thoughts of disbelief and rage over said lunacy.

The Armenian Genocide:

As you may or may not be aware of, the Turkish/Armenian genocide has been in the news for the past half a week. For some perspective, read my blog on An Extraordinary Evil – or better yet go read the book. Recently, congress has decided to grow some balls and pass a resolution actually naming the conflict as genocide. Up until now, it has not been recognized as such anywhere in the world. In fact, you get thrown in jail in Turkey for mentioning it as such.

Now this happened about, oh, 90 years ago. It’s hard to believe that anything other than guilty consciences is preventing it from being called as it is. Even the US can admit that we wiped out a massively wrong amount of American Indians in our pursuit of becoming a nation.

As a reaction to the proposition, Turkey has threatened to remove support of the US and restrict our access to the military bases we have in Turkey. You may be thinking – so what? We aren’t attacking Turkey any time soon (someone knock on wood please!) why should this stop up?  Turkey is a major launching point for all of the foolishness we have been undertaking in Iraq, and possibly Iran in the future, but more on that idiocy later.  I was so excited when I heard that congress was trying to pass this resolution as I find it important to publicly recognize tragedies such as this as they are. I then saw our “Decider” in boots stand up and announce that this wasn’t the correct response to the issue.

Um, what? I think I need to turn up my hearing aid. I thought I heard you say it wasn’t appropriate recognize the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of people as it happened. Oh. You did say that.  You did just publicly slap the entire Armenian population (both living and the memory of those who died). Because you have an agenda (of which the legitimacy is more than a little questionable) that would be threatened.   La Dee Frickin Da.

I’ve heard some rumblings that the democratic congress has been pursuing this resolution as a punishment to Bush for all of the Iraq nonsense.  Uh, so what? It would be fantastic if all political and legislative incidents occurred from honorable intentions, but that is just not reality. This resolution carries so much importance beyond bothering Bush, I’m willing to not care if it’s a blow for the plan in Iraq. (I’ll cover more on what the hell the plan actually is in Iraq later too) Most of us agree that the whole Iraq situation is beyond ludicrous anyhow. Why not make something positive out of it?

President Bush, we need this resolution. It is SO critical to recognize history in an honest way, I cannot even stress this enough. I know it’s an overused cliché, but it’s true  - Unless we study and learn history how it happened – it will repeat itself. I don’t know about you, sir, but I value human life over political agendas. You have got to start looking beyond your own power and agenda and recognize that sometimes you have to take a hit for the good of humanity. I would love to hear you explain how exactly this would threaten the security of our sacred nation. Then again, I have enough reasons to be disgusted with you – don’t give me another one.  As Pink so aptly said it – How can you possibly hold your head up high after voicing an opinion like this? I hope Laura is kicking your ass in private!

What happened to the huge support for Never Again? How can we promise Never Again if we can’t even label an event as it really happened? Ladies and gentleman, stand behind congress on this. I don’t care if you’re a Democrat, Republican, Alien, or a bath mat. We should all be able to recognize and fight for the value of human life over rhetoric. The sacrifices in this instance are completely outnumbered by the benefits of taking a stand on this issue.  I know very few people who would want a horrific event like genocide to reoccur. Those that would do not mind sacrificing people for political agendas and power. (Sound familiar?)

I don’t mean to roast GWB/the administration on a spit, but recognition is such a huge part of education and our president got stuck being the mouthpiece for the administration on this issue.  Write your congressmen and women. Give them your support. Urge them of the importance of what they are doing and thank them for having the courage to value human life.  Write the president and tear him a new one for not having the balls to have some integrity on this issue. Get involved. If we just sit here, they get to do whatever they want, and we’ve seen how well this has turned out.

To anyone reading who is Armenian:

 

I know there isn’t much for me to apologize for. I’m not Turkish. I did not participate in the genocide.  Hell, I didn’t even vote for Bush. However, I still want to apologize to you. It cannot be easy for you to watch the leader of the most powerful, influential nation in the world deny what happened to you. I hope it makes you feel marginally better that many of us here consider him a Grade A ass hat.  Keep your head up.  There are plenty of those here who would fight for recognition, even if it means the alienation of the Turkish government. We have the freedom of expression here to fight for the truth. I sincerely hope we can help you gain the recognition and support that is so crucial to your people after what happened. You are in our thoughts.

Becky

From the Archives: The Bitch, the Beast, and the Lemming Parade

I'm liking the 3 subject blog thing, so I think I'll continue it tonight also.  As to the title, the bitch and the beast are two distinct personalities in my psyche. As for the lemming parade, well, you'll just have to read it. I FINALLY have my new car. And it is farkin fantastic.

The Bitch:

The bitch side of my personality comes out mainly when I'm tired, hungry, or stressed.  Or when I feel like I'm being taken for a ride or dealing with an immature spouse. (I know, never happens!)  I just get this urge to beat the living snot out of someone to get what I need to get done done.  I usually don't let her out very often for fear of physical harm to the nearest annoying person, but every once in a while, she fights her way out.  I'm a nice person. I'm not rude, say please and thank you, ect. But when the bitch comes out, I really let it fly.

The Beast:

The beast part of me is my carnal side. Sometimes, I just can't get a good banging out of my head. I sit and think of all the fun things I could be doing and all of the hot people I could be doing them with.  The beast made an appearance in Midway airport last week. As I sat in the terminal and watched all of the eye candy, I couldn't help but spend time thinking about all of the fun things I could be doing.  Could be a shortage of tail at home, but most likely just the lack of variety.  I don't mind when the beast takes over, but I don't get much done!

The Lemming Parade:

As  I mentioned earlier,  (only about 6 times) I have a brand spanking new car. If I'm driving through White Plains or on a parkway, I don't want to be stuck behind someone going 45. This drives me crazy. So the lemmings are the people and the parade is the line of cars everywhere that never seems to diminish. I was pondering if driving should require a masters degree. It was raining today and people seemed to not get the fact that driving is not exponentially more difficult in the rain. This from the chick who turned onto the wrong side of  a divided street today. Perhaps a masters degree wouldn't be a bad thing to drive.

From the Archives: That's it, I'm Reading the Riot Act

(2007)

 For anyone around me who has had their head stuck in a gofer hole for the past 9 months, I’m pregnant. I’ve tried not to be the knocked up chick who just can’t manage to talk about anything other than her “bump” with a decent amount of success. However. It’s not a secret. As of the past 3 months, you would have to be blind to miss it. Seriously. All I need is a shaved head and a lotus position to pass for a laughing Buddha. My due date is also a well advertised fact. That and the fact that I am not having a comfortable pregnancy. I want it over with. So why in the world do people just not get it?   Now I wasn’t really planning this out well last winter when we started trying to conceive, but having a baby around Thanksgiving when you have another preschool aged child who also has a birthday around that time is a BAD idea. I’m a nice person. Well, most of the time anyhow. I’m polite to people and usually smile and say please and thank you because that’s the way I want to be treated. However, I’m pregnant. Knock on wood, this will be the last time, and I really am finding myself giving less than 1 whole flying granola bar about being nice. There are a 

few people who I really want to knock upside the head for just not getting it.

To My Over Eager Friend who is Living My Pregnancy Vicariously:

I understand that you are done having kids and miss the whole pregnancy and baby thing as your youngest just turned 3.  You also happen to be related to me through marriage and I consider you to be a Fantastic in-law and friend. I know you are beyond thrilled to have another niece to add to the growing herd of girls that is our family. However. You really need to take a breath. I can barely make myself get out of bed in the morning and waddle into the kitchen to make my daughter lunch for preschool.  I know you are excited, but I really do not want people at my house. I love that we only live 2 hrs apart. Our kids will be close and it’s great to have family around, but please. I really do not even feel like making polite conversation with my husband right now. None the less having people over that require that I get up and get dressed in a normal fashion. I love my nieces, but having 3 girls at my house imitating a tornado instead of 1 is just something I’m not up for. Not only that, but you seem to want to come over EVERY weekend. I have had company my entire pregnancy in the form of your parents and your family. The. Entire. Pregnancy. I am loving my peace and quiet right now.  Don’t take it personally, but I’m leaning toward emotional basket case and would rather while away my time in peace and quiet.

To the Guilt Trip Peanut Gallery RE Excitement:

Yes. I am excited to be adding another daughter to my family. Having a baby is lots of fun, and it’s been a long time since I had a baby in the house. 4 years. However, I am not the type to go bouncing off the walls from excitement. I’m just too tired and uncomfortable. Please stop making me feel like a freak because I am not showing my excitement in the same way as you. We have a name for her, plenty of clothes/diapers/socks etc. We’re very ready for her. However, I am just ready to be done being pregnant and have the baby around. The excitement has lasted for 9 long months. I’m ready to end the anticipation and just get on with it. I’m not a very excitable person to begin with.  Add 6 months of discomfort, and I tend to just come off ornery.

To My Daughter’s Preschool Teacher:

I understand that you are a very busy person. We love you. You take good care of our daughter while she is at school. However.  I warned you before the school year started that I was having a baby in early December. Why in the world would you assign me snack week at the end of October? Did it not occur to you that an 8 month pregnant mom would not be really thrilled to have to make some extra trips to the grocery store and get up early to cut up healthy snacks for 12 children? The look on your face was priceless when I brought in potato chips the first day. Give me a break! I love to cook and bring things in, but the timing was just wrong.  Did you really need to have me bring stuff in for Thanksgiving too? I finally gave up and just brought store bought cupcakes for my daughter’s birthday (I would usually label this sacrilege) but I just don’t have the energy or inclination to bend over and retrieve things from a hot oven right now. I also don’t want to go and sit with 12 other moms and dads tomorrow and eat Thanksgiving dinner. My husband has abandoned me in an effort to bring home the bacon, so I will have to sit and make polite conversation by myself. I just don’t want to right now, but if I don’t, you will convince me my daughter will be scarred for life. Again, it really is a matter of bad timing. Anyhow, she’s going to be scarred for life with the arrival of her new sister. Siblings do that to you.  If I hear any crap about not being there for the Christmas program – which by the way is directly ON my due date, well, I just better not hear anything about it.

To my Husband:

You have been stepping up to the plate in a fantastic way, even if I have to remind you of certain things every once in a while, and I love you for it. Just a few things we need to iron out.  You really need to stop the guilt trip issues. If I choose not to get completely dressed on a certain day – butt out. I don’t walk around nude and our daughter is not going to be warped seeing me walk to the bathroom in the morning in just my underwear and a tee. If I decide that I can handle picking up our daughter from preschool after the baby is born and I expressly tell you that, do not bully and nag me into calling someone to arrange to have her picked up. I will start chucking heavy objects at you.  Now is really not the time for you to decide that you know what is best for me in terms of socializing. I really don’t want to talk to anyone. I’m not particularly good at shooting the breeze with people in general – now I am not even going to put forth the effort. Heck, I really don’t even feel like talking to you, my best friend, or even my mother. Do not abandon me in social situations in a misguided attempt to force me to make friends, especially if I have specifically told you how I feel about it. If you do, I am going to sit there and pass time and mentally throw objects at you for making me sit there without an easy person to talk to. I just don’t want to talk to anyone right now. They may be nice people, and I will make more of an effort when I don’t feel like a hippo, but it just ain’t happening right now, so I consider this to be especially cruel. P.S. Just because you have a job to go to doesn’t mean you automatically get excused from school nonsense like Thanksgiving dinner. If I have to sit there, so do you.