Wednesday, March 21, 2012

From the Archives: The Bitch, the Beast, and the Lemming Parade

I'm liking the 3 subject blog thing, so I think I'll continue it tonight also.  As to the title, the bitch and the beast are two distinct personalities in my psyche. As for the lemming parade, well, you'll just have to read it. I FINALLY have my new car. And it is farkin fantastic.

The Bitch:
The bitch side of my personality comes out mainly when I'm tired, hungry, or stressed.  Or when I feel like I'm being taken for a ride or dealing with an immature spouse. (I know, never happens!)  I just get this urge to beat the living snot out of someone to get what I need to get done done.  I usually don't let her out very often for fear of physical harm to the nearest annoying person, but every once in a while, she fights her way out.  I'm a nice person. I'm not rude, say please and thank you, ect. But when the bitch comes out, I really let it fly.

The Beast:
The beast part of me is my carnal side. Sometimes, I just can't get a good banging out of my head. I sit and think of all the fun things I could be doing and all of the hot people I could be doing them with.  The beast made an appearance in Midway airport last week. As I sat in the terminal and watched all of the eye candy, I couldn't help but spend time thinking about all of the fun things I could be doing.  Could be a shortage of tail at home, but most likely just the lack of variety.  I don't mind when the beast takes over, but I don't get much done!

The Lemming Parade:
As  I mentioned earlier,  (only about 6 times) I have a brand spanking new car. If I'm driving through White Plains or on a parkway, I don't want to be stuck behind someone going 45. This drives me crazy. So the lemmings are the people and the parade is the line of cars everywhere that never seems to diminish. I was pondering if driving should require a masters degree. It was raining today and people seemed to not get the fact that driving is not exponentially more difficult in the rain. This from the chick who turned onto the wrong side of  a divided street today. Perhaps a masters degree wouldn't be a bad thing to drive.

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