Wednesday, March 21, 2012

From the Archives: When Did Motley Crew Become Classic Rock?

Mood: Mello but uncomfortable
Listening to: Brobdinigan Bards - Do Virgins Taste Better?
So I was watching VH1 Classic today in hopes of hearing some Guns N Roses after accidentally erasing all of the music on my Ipod and noticed a very disturbing thing. The definition of classic rock has become some-what distorted. As an early 80’s baby, my definition of classic rock has always been pretty clear. Oldies do NOT count as classic rock. Rock and Roll also does not count. So what gives? I noticed this on the local Classic Rock radio station too. You’d think that by living so close to NYC, we wouldn’t have to deal with radio stations that just lump all kinds of music together and pass it off as a genre.  So my blog isn’t really about Motley Crew. At all. However, I just couldn’t resist ripping off that song because it reminded me of what I was thinking when I heard Elton John on the Classic Rock station yesterday.  Elton John?? Don’t get me wrong, I like Elton. But how can the queen of rock and roll possibly count as classic rock? Last time I checked, classic rock was anti – queen. Well, besides the band Queen anyhow.   Cross dressing ala Dee Snyder and Twisted Sister sure, but actually being a queen, not so much.  Will someone please tell me how oldies count as Classic Rock? It’s a totally separate genre.  It always seemed pretty well separated to me. If you can play it on an oldies or easy listening station, it is not Classic Rock. I’ve never been that into Bruce Springsteen.  I saw him on there too. Now I’m not gonna knock the Boss, I might incite a riot. He’s talented and a legend in his own right. But Classic Rock?? How does Fire count? What gives? 

This morning I saw Led Zeppelin too. Now just in case you are playing ostrich and have your head in a hold in the ground, the Zep is back together and doing concerts. This, for some odd reason, is a HUGE deal around here. I never really understood the huge deal with Led Zeppelin. I’m pretty open to different music and different styles and genres. However, all I could think of this morning when I heard this song is, “How high do you have to be to understand this?” I couldn’t understand the words, or the point of the music.  I can’t remember it, but one of the guitarists was playing the electric guitar with a violin bow. All I could think was “Oh my god. I had a cat once that made noises like this and I immediately started throwing things at it.”  I just don’t get it. Don’t send me hate mail – to each his own. I just don’t get it.  Perhaps sometime I should get totally stoned sometime and try it.

This is kind of on a tangent, but I saw this song this morning and just had to poke a little fun. We’re an American Band.  Now, this has got to be one of the silliest older songs I have ever heard.  We have plenty of stupid repetitive songs out right now, mostly in the rap genre (hello, I’ma Buy You a Drink by T-Pain), but this is the first older song I heard that I just couldn’t believe they made money off of. It’s not even that catchy! We’re an American Band. We’re an American Band. We’re coming to your town, to help you party down. We’re an American band.  That’s it. I’m getting an agent and getting into show business. If that’s all it takes – I’m cashin in.

P.S. Virgins DO Taste Better.

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