Wednesday, March 21, 2012

From the Archives: Playboy Athletic Wear on Fat Chicks

Mood: Discouraged, but calm
Listening to: My own typing

So I’m just passing some time. A little bummed out that my daughter has not decided that I can be relieved of this awfully uncomfortable state of late pregnancy, but generally content.  I just had to blog about this because it represented to me one of those perfectly ironic moments in life where you just sit back and say to yourself, “You have to be kidding me.” Now I don’t want any hate mail. I know it’s not PC to call anyone fat. Well, tough. My blog, my wording. And I calls them how I sees them.  Anyhow, since I so resemble a laughing Buddha right now, I reserve the right to laugh. I’m a fat chick too. All right, it’s pregnant fat, but still fat.

 So I was out recently in a bout of warmer weather and I noticed an overweight chick wearing a playboy bunny on her shirt. Now I’m not talking a healthy, curvy chick with a few extra pounds, I’m talking a chick who had some serious rolls hanging out of this outfit. Which happened to be WAY too tight, but come one, it was a playboy wear.  We were out on the street, so it’s not like we were in a gym or anything. So I’m okay with that. Hell, I love the playboy bunny myself. I happened to turn around after she passed me and noticed that she had “Playboy Athletic Wear” plastered on her oversized behind. (one of which I also possess, but anyhow…) I seriously thought was going to roll down the street laughing. Having the playboy bunny on your shirt is one thing. It’s gutsy, and it doesn’t matter much who you are. Having their athletic wear on your biker shorts that are a few sizes too small for your overweight frame is quite another.  Let’s dig in, shall we? Since when does playboy make athletic wear – or any wear for that matter – that heavier people can fit into? I never could fit into anything of theirs, and I was a curvy chick before getting knocked up for the second time. Second of all, does she not realize the almost unholy irony in wearing that? Playboy idolizes (and yes, trivializes) women in general by turning them all into plastic, blond, size 0, shaved, bimbos that are glorified sex toys. You. Do. Not. Fit. The. Description.!   Not many people look good in spandex. Pulling it off is one of those things that only uber skinny women can do. Kind of like wearing skinny jeans and looking good in them. Why would you draw attention to your ass by advertising playboy athletic wear?  I mentioned this in another blog. Everyone has a mirror. Please to look in it before stepping out of the house. If you are not sure, enlist an honest friend. One who doesn’t want you to go out of the house looking like a supreme idiot. We all have at least one friend like that.

Hope everyone is having a good week. Hopefully next time I blog I can spread some good news about having a baby. I’ll warn you first so you don’t have to sit through a mom blog if you don’t want to. 


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