K is for Kaleidoscope

Mood: Calm – for now

Listening to: Completely ineffective ceiling fans – it’s hot!

My housecleaner’s daughter comes over sometimes with her mom to help out. I actually hate it because this girl has gone to school and needs to find a good job and not get sucked into being a housecleaner, but it’s not my place to say. Anyhow, she was asking me today how things in the US are. I found it kind of funny, because non-Indian people ask me the same question about how India is. I can’t say that one place is better than the other – they both have their good and bad points.

The US is clean, it’s orderly, and downright boringly sanitized most of the time. I guess if you need that kind of environment, then it is wonderful. Life is a bit easier because Americans love giving instructions and helping other people figure out what’s going on. We are a nation that loves instruction manuals and posters telling people what’s going on.  I would venture to say that life in America is almost ridiculously simple.

The closest thing I can compare India to is a kaleidoscope. It is all lights and colors and chaos swirling around in a semi set pattern. It is dazzling to watch but very easily becomes overwhelming for those not accustomed to it. It is dirty, crowded, and most often smelly, but that’s what happens when you throw so many people with such a rich history together. If nothing else, India is as real as it gets, which is one of the reasons I love it.  There isn’t much about India that is simple. If you have a decent amount of money, you can get a lot of service, but it won’t come easily, especially if you don’t speak a local language or at least Hindi.

Being a simple US girl, the lights, colors and smells of India never fail to fascinate me. When we first moved in with my inlaws, I used to sit for hours on the porch and watch the hustle go by in the roundabout. It never got old. Even after almost 6 months of living in this amazing country, I still see something new and interesting every time I step out of my door. Even the people are complicated, which seems to add a depth to every interaction that you just don’t find in the US.

As I mentioned, the downside is that India is ALWAYS like this and it’s always on. If you get overwhelmed there’s not much to be done besides hide in your house, and that never lasts too long – you have to eat eventually. Occasionally, it makes you long for a simple farmhouse in Bumbledum Montana where you can sit in complete silence on the porch in a rocking chair and not contemplate humanity for 5 minutes.  

It’s still easy to see the pull of India though. Let me tell you, the kaleidoscope still has its hooks firmly in me.

Becky

N is for Nose Nonsense

Listening to: November Rain – Guns N Roses

Mood: Incredulous

Skipping to N, because there was no way I was letting this one by.

I was flipping through the news today and noticed a story about a bride who went on a nose tube diet before her wedding. For those not familiar, a tube is inserted through the nose into the stomach and food is pumped directly into the stomach, strictly controlling consumption. It’s supposed to help you lose weight fast.

Ok. What the Sam Hell. Ladies and gentlemen, sanity has left the building. This is one of the most ridiculous ideas I have ever heard.

 Can we please just stop with the twig envy for 2 minutes? A woman is supposed to be getting ready for the happiest day of her life (whatever!) and to spend the rest of her life with her fiancé and she’s so worried about being fat she resorts to feeding herself through a tube. Argh! The true kicker was, this lady didn’t even look overweight to me. At all.

800 calories a day. I want to know what doctor is helping this woman with all of her medical apparatus. I don’t know any credible doctor that will tell you that 800 calories a day is a sane plan. It’s just not sustainable for your body. This woman stopped picking her kids up from school because she was afraid of scaring the other children. What about your own kids you silly broad? What messages are you sending them about their own bodies and weight? People thought she was dying. 

I’m all for being healthy. If you are overweight, go for it. Lose it the healthy way. Get your butt moving and reduce your portion size to help you reduce calories slowly.  Why in the world have we not yet learned that losing weight too quickly is both not good for you and probably won’t stick. It reeks havoc on the body. If you have an event that you want to look awesome for, start a few weeks earlier and do it the healthy way.

Ladies and gentlemen, people are willing to stick a tube up their nose and walk around like that to lose weight for an event. Words fail me.

Becky

J is for Just Eat It

Listening to: Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler

Mood: Meh

I have a thing about picky people. I’m not talking about a person who doesn’t like sausage and asks for pasta without it, or someone who has a religious objection to eating pork. I’m talking about the people who ask for a detailed list of salad ingredients and then ask for half of them to be left out.

I’ve never really understood it at all. There are very, very few things that I don’t like and just plain won’t eat. Very few.  I just can’t understand why people just don’t eat whatever it is they don’t like anyways.

I have been blessed with a picky child. Indian food involves lots of spices – some of them whole for flavor. We use black mustard seeds, which are the same size and color as poppy seeds. They really do not taste like much of anything. For some inexplicable reason, this bothers my youngest to a ridiculous degree. She will sit and pick every single last blasted seed out of her food. Same for cilantro leaves, spinach, and anything else resembling something that grows outside on a bush.

This girl has fought me about what she will and will not eat since she was born. Most days I just want to pry her stubborn little jaw open and shove the food in. But child services looks down on that, so I have to resort to trickery/bribery/hell/high water. It’s challenging for my patience at best.

For the love of a Sweet Baby Yam. Do not go out to eat if you’re picky. Stay home and just make it yourself. Don’t torture the waitresses son, it’s just bad manners.

Seriously. Stay home or Just Eat It.

Becky

I is for Individuality

Listening to: Fall to Pieces – Velvet Revolver

Mood: Tired and Discouraged

On to the letter I.  I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about being an individual while being a part of a pair. More specifically, what it means to be a sexual individual inside of a marriage. Yes people, yet another post about sex. I’ll try and rearrange my thoughts for the next post, but for now, it is the topic of the day.

I married young. 22 to be exact. I wasn’t exactly worldly wise and jaded, at least in the relationship and sex arena.  My husband was also a virgin when we met.

Understandably, my (then) boyfriend and I fell head long into the rush of new love and the rosy, exciting haze of sexual discovery.  It was glorious. We got married two and a half years later, still nuts about each other. As the years have gone by (as in 9 years next week!), I have found my sexual identity to be both intrinsically tied to his and yet very distinctly mine.  

I am pondering how you define yourself in a sexual way when you’ve committed to being sexual with another person for the rest of your life. There are definitely some things we don’t share. My obsession with Guns N Roses for example. My penchant for having an active imagination when it comes to the lead singer of that band. Fantasizing in general.  I’m pretty sure that like every other man on this planet over the age of puberty, he spends quality time alone with himself too.

When you love someone (no, this is not a Bryan Adam’s song, I promise) and live with them on a long term basis, the lines between you have a eerie way of becoming lighter and less defined. There’s a reason for the saying “He or she is my other half.” 

I actively chase being my own person. It’s a deep seated drive somewhere in me. I have a need to have areas of myself that are only mine. There are some that I wouldn’t want my husband to see because I’m pretty sure he would recoil in horror/disgust. Mama’s got a dark side.

I find having your own thing going on sexually to be a healthy thing in a relationship. As with other areas of life, it’s important to know who you are and have things that are only yours. After all, the better you know yourself and can be comfortable with yourself, the better you can get to know your other half and be comfortable with him or her.

Ideas? Comments? I love to hear them.

Becky

F is for Fifty Shades of Grey

Listening to: Buckcherry  - Sorry. It’s definitely a Buckcherry type of day.

Mood: Tired and Discouraged

I usually refrain from commenting on what I’m reading in the blog because I have a separate blog for my literary pursuits. Check it out here if you’re interested. I think it’s also worth noting that I am NOT a fan of pop-lit. In fact, I usually avoid it like the plague.  

Fifty Shades of Grey was discussed so often that I hesitated to even read it. I figured it was good for some hot scenes, so I figured I would give it a chance. Wow. I am so glad I did. The author is definitely talented at creating hot scenes.  I’m almost finished with the 3^rd of the books and I have to say that I loved all of them.

Ok, so this is a romance novel. Even with the BDSM twist (which by the way – definitely pushes the right  buttons for me in a major way) it boils down to romance. There isn’t much of a plot beyond sex. I do like the character development though. There’s just something hot about a man that needs to be saved and needs love.  On paper I love broody serious, flawed men. Yes please.

Like all romance novels, you probably shouldn’t think too hard about logic. The bad boys really don’t turn around like this in real life. Most are probably not uber rich either. Still, it’s a fun read if you like that type of thing.  The first book deals a lot with the darker side of sex. If you don’t like/agree with that type thing, this probably isn’t for you. If you are really really into it, the book doesn’t delve too deeply either. It’s a fine line well skated.

I’d definitely recommend it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go off and daydream about my rockstar some more only this time he’s dark.

Becky

H is for Hormones

Mood: Relaxed – for now

Listening to: Salaame – Kunal Ganjawala and Vasundhara Das

I’m skipping F for now because I can’t think of anything useful right now with the exception of my favorite word, which I’ve adequately covered in this post. I’ll circle back to F later. For my G post, see the GuiltManifesto.

Caveat – this is a post about sex. If you are my mother, not of legal consent age, or generally get your undies in a bunch easily – come back another day.

If you are a girl or have ever possibly in your life known a girl, even if she is your own mother, you understand how much hormones suck donkey balls sometimes. This is not a post about that. This is a post about how much hormones can be awesome if you play the game right.

In regards to sex, most girls go from “Meh” right after their period to “Yes, right now or I will find someone who will!” in the middle, to “Don’t Touch Me” the week before their periods to “Meh, if it will get rid of the cramps I will” during their period. All thanks to the hormonal changes that happen.

I want to draw your attention to a 2 hour window of hormone heaven that happens a day or two before a girl’s period. As most people know, a week before hand (AKA PMS) a girl’s level of horniness will drop to almost 0. If you are lucky enough to be awake and around your girl when the hormone spike occurs right before her period, you should definitely take advantage of the situation if she isn’t after you for it already.

After ambushing my husband recently, I told him about it. The poor man thought I was referring to an ovulation window and spent the next 5 minutes getting his own tighty whitey’s into a bunch that his super sperm somehow grew legs found their way out of the condom. After I assured him that not only was it was not that time of month, his sperm weren’t that coordinated, he was happy about it. Some of the best times I’ve ever had have been during this 2 hour window.  Don’t get me wrong, the ovulation period has a magic all its own, but you may as well take advantage of it when you’re feeling hot. There’s just something hot and desperate about knowing it will only last so long, you’re ready to go, and when it’s done you won’t care a fig about it for at least another week.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have a day dream about a certain rock star.

Becky

E is for Earning

Mood: Crabby from being hot as hell and not in a sexy way. Dutch Viking folk do not like sweating all the time. We prefer to stand outside in 40 degree weather in a hoodie.

Listening to: Gela Gela Gela – Adnan Sami

I work from home as a consultant. I got my current gig in New York before we packed up and moved half way around the globe and I have continued to do work for the same company.  I enjoy my work, but I am in no way working full time.  There has been some talk about my getting a full time job after my youngest goes to school in June.

I’m not quite sure what I think of this idea. While I never planned on being a full time housewife and mom, it’s all that I’ve known for the past 9 years.  On one hand, I would absolutely love to have something adult that I can work on and be doing on my own. On the other hand, I can see my free time and pursuits dissolving as I type. I know that this is a ridiculous hang up, but I LOVE writing. As much as I love it, I’m pretty sure that I won’t get hired for anything to do with writing. I have no degree pertaining to it, no experience, and nothing to show. I don’t mind a regular desk job.

I’m also a little apprehensive about what I would do with my kids. I think it may be a hard adjustment for them to make. I’ve always been at their beck and call and now they would have to get used to someone else being at home. I’m also afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep up with their homework and other activities. Hell, I ‘m a stay at home mom and I already can’t keep up with it.

I do want to be earning at least a token amount for myself. My parents got divorced when I was 13. By sheer luck, she had happened to get a nursing degree a few years before they divorced. It has been hammered into me from an early age that I need to be able to take care of myself, no matter how stable life seems. So that’s also a motivation of mine. I hope to the Spaghetti monster that I never have to go through a divorce from my husband, but no point sitting about without self reliance in the mean time.

What do you think? What are some of the challenges from changing your trajectory when you’re 30?

Becky