Z is for Zealot

Mood: Serious tiredness - need coffee IV 5 minutes ago.

Listening to: The kids attempting to play chess

And with this letter, we end this little stretch of insanity. I feel like a damn writing zealot for following this thing to the end. That’s all I’m going to say about z.

So. What did I learn from this? Yes, I am totally one of those annoying people who tries to learn stuff out of experiences – I know, it irritates me too. I learned my best writing does not come from prompts – it comes from my own head and random experiences. Writing according to a preset order has the habit of making me try and fit a letter to my own experiences, so why with the prompts anyhow? Perhaps it is the letter thing that throws me. I’m not even sure.

2^nd lesson – in order to keep up with the pace, my other blogs suffer. Sorry about that other blogs. Between life, work, and inlaws, there isn’t enough left for one blog some days, not to mention 6. Lesson learned.

I’m not quite done with my writing jag, so let the fun continue – just not in alphabetical format.

Becky

X is for XXX

Listening to: Belly Dance music

Mood: Calm

This post will be slightly cheating. What do you expect? I can’t be brilliant all the time people.

Each of those X’s stands for a decade of my life that has gone by. I turned 30 this year. Since we were attempting to abscond from the country, my birthday passed quietly this year. I don’t remember feeling so much angst – because again, when you’re packing up shop to move half way around the world, a birthday isn’t going to be all that big of a thing, even if it is a big one.

I don’t feel 30. I feel somewhere around 26. It was a good year. One in which I finally started feeling like a responsible adult, even though I was married and had kids for a long time before that. It was the year when I finally came to grips with who and what I was and began to be confident about it. Really, things have only gotten better since then. I still have all of my hang-ups and issues, but they are now recognized as a part of me rather than something that I need to find, analyze and excise. It was a year when I started realizing that I was hungry to learn. I don’t mean to wax poetic about being 26, but it was a time that resulted in my being able to be who I am today, and I'm proud of where I've gotten to.

I hope to be able to add at least ten more of those Xs (and yes, I know that’s not how counting in Roman numerals works) before my life is done. Who’s afraid of being 30? Not this girl – talk to me in 10 more years and we’ll see.

Becky

W is for What the Hell

Listening to: Do it for the Kids - Velvet Revolver

Mood: Pissed.

Doing my usual thing and trolling through the news for things that caught my eye, I came across this:

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/child-bride-marriage-annulled-laxmi-sargara-hero-day-180800827.html

India seriously, what the hell is this nonsense? It breaks my heart on a regular basis that a country that has made huge strides in modernity is still stuck in some very ingrained ancient behaviors.  I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea, this isn’t common in India. There are a few areas with groups of people who are neither rich nor educated where this occurs. Still – one child married at the age of 1 is too many.

Unfortunately, India doesn’t always have the best track record when it comes to protecting women and children – especially those who don’t have much. The country also isn’t all that great at standing up for an individual who needs support. As in the story – this girl had to go against her own family in seeking a divorce.

India has a culture of trusting parents to find a spouse for the children and the children are raised to trust their parents’ decision regarding spouse. How much courage it must have taken for this girl who doesn’t have much to stand up and take control of her own destiny. Hats off to you my dear; I hope that you are an inspiration to other girls in the same situation.

This is a prime example of the need of education for people still stuck in the last century. I’m sure these people are not doing this to be malicious to the girl (although that is another problem all together) but rather out of tradition and a misguided idea of what are good for her and their family. I’ve said it before: Progress is vital.

It is also an example of how much one voice can help. It is so easy to turn your head and let things go if they don’t apply to you. If you feel like balking, think about how much courage it must have taken this girl to go against her entire family and community for what she knew was right.  Man up – this should never be excused or ignored.

Becky

U is for Undone

Listening to: The construction next door – Argh!

Mood: Concerted effort to be Mellow

As you may have heard (did I tell you or not, I always forget whom I tell what to!) I have a housekeeper named Indira. She does our dishes, cleans the floors every day, folds laundry, etc. Our relationship is an uneasy truce.

When Indira started, life was good. She came every day on time, always finished all of the work she was supposed to do, and didn’t take lots of days off. As is the norm in India, now that we’re comfortable with each other (i.e. she is less likely to be fired for not doing what she should) things have changed a bit. The number of tasks she does each day has drastically reduced, sometimes for no apparent reason at all. There are a few basics (dishes, floors, making flat breads called chapattis that are like tortillas) that she just randomly doesn’t do. Yesterday, she didn’t show up at all. No call, nothing.

I know quite a few people who have come to rely on their housekeepers. They whine a great deal when the ladies call off. This is not what I’m pissed about – that I have to wash dishes for myself for the day. No, this is more about me hating to deal with other people’s drama and not even caring enough to call and give an excuse – even a flimsy one. So here is my response to this whole situation.

You know, I didn’t even want to hire anyone. I’m 30 years old, healthy, able, and more than capable. I have been cleaning up after myself and my family for my entire life. There is absolutely nothing around here that you can do that I can’t/won’t do, except for making chapattis, and if I wanted to, I could learn to make some kick ass chapattis too.

I would like to think that I’ve been fair, patient and even kind to you as we settled into our groove and getting things done. I have treated you with nothing but respect. Just because I am not riding you like my mother in law did does not mean I will put up with a whole bunch of nonsense. I absolutely hate having to guess what will and will not get done and whether or not you will show up and if so, when. I have the social skills of an otter sometimes. I am friendly, but I don’t get all of the nuances. I am not good at guess work or passive aggressive nonsense. Since you refuse to negotiate with me or tell me what you need out of this situation, I am left fumbling in the dark. I do not feel bad about the arrangement we worked out because you seemed ok with it.  If you agreed to work in more houses after I hired you, the least you could do was talk to me about it so that you have an agreeable time to come and I don’t have to bitch at my husband every night about how frustrating this has become.

In short, I really don’t need you here. If you can’t get your act together, perhaps it’s time to end this relationship. These calluses didn’t get on my hands from sitting around getting pampered all my life – quite the opposite. It was hard enough accepting the fact that I was letting someone else in my home to do work that I was raised to believe was mine to be done. You have not undone a lifetime of being responsible for myself. I am still very much capable.

Becky

T Is for Talent

Listening to: Random Hindi music

Mood: Pretty darn cheerful

That’s right folks. Time to pass some love around.

Today I want to give you all a heads up about a very talented musician. He majored in music in college and plays more instruments than I have names for. He also happens to be my brother. The other guy in the video is Scott Knies - also a very talented guy.

I don’t follow the same belief system, but this isn’t about religion. It’s about being the change and passing on the love.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you Jeremiah and Scott.

Becky

V is for Vagina

Listening to: My Kids Playing

Mood: Pissed.

Hello there. What a lovely day we have going on. Sky is blue…grass is green. Why yes, I am procrastinating, how did you know? I have some mad procrastinating skills. Writing is just so much more fun than working. Skipping along to V today because this just made me so angry. Watch out people, I’m digging out the soap box.

So. I was watching my absolute favorite TV host last night on the internet because Comedy Central in India isn’t able to air John the same day he tapes – probably to censor and avoid episodes that use words like vagina. Once again, the US is up to some asshattery about women and their bodies. John suggested that since we have a war on Christmas and a war on women, why not just use some Christmas to neutralize the war on women – more specifically, using a manger to keep US policy makers out of a place they have no business being. As usual, this studly TV host has a hilarious way of pointing out when people are being absurd. “The catholic church” subsequently got their panties all in a bunch. Because you know, how dare you mention Vaginas and an inference to Jesus in the same sentence? How dare you use religion to mock anything?

Catholic church, you’re up first. Would you please stop crying like a whiney little toddler? We all know the function of humor and comedians. Stop putting religion where it has no place. This is a political issue (which all too often is mixed up with religion these days). The entire point of this satire was not to skewer the church, but to skewer the politicians who seem to think it’s their prerogative to be up in people’s reproductive business. It was also a jab at the talking heads. You are not talking heads Catholic church. Get over it.

To the politicians and talking heads. You can deny it all you want, but this is in fact a systematic prejudice against women. If we told men that they would have to start taking fertility pills and that they didn’t have the choice of whether or not they wanted to share their sperm, I’m sure there would be riots. For the love of sanity and everything that is actually holy, stop acting like your personal belief system must be adopted by everyone else. You are supposed to be leading a country (or giving factual news to a country) made up of people originating from every place in the entire world. There is no central belief system. You cannot force people to go along with your morals and belief systems. We do not live in communist China. We ARE NOT communist China and for a reason. Getting all up into people’s reproductive business isn’t what America is about. Stop twisting it to fit your narrow view of right and wrong.

Giving my employer any information about my reproductive choices is absolutely absurd, not to mention having to defend my choices or be forced to follow someone else’s reproductive prerogative and prove that contraception is for health reasons. I should be forced to have more children that I can’t support or don’t want because someone high up has an agenda in the company I work for? Should my choice about eating pork, for example, be taken away if I work for a Muslim or a Jew? Are you volunteering to pay the half a million dollars per child to raise them and send them to a public college? Are you the one who has the responsibility of disciplining them and making sure they don’t turn out to be axe murderers or lazy bums who mooch off society? Are you planning to sit up and worry about them if they come home late and cry at night because you are worried about how they are growing up? I didn’t think so. Seriously. Are we back in the 18^th century here? If my husband and I decide that we don’t want any more children, what business is it of anyone else? 

Having children is not a moral, religious, or social obligation for everyone, thank goodness. I do think that children are a blessing, but they also come with a very heavy emotional and monetary price tag. As with anything else, you should only have what you can afford. How is it fair to the 8^th child born that you can no longer afford to feed him or her because you have a regular job and 8 kids? There’s a responsibility in deciding how many children you bring into the world. Since corporations and the government aren’t taking responsibility for the aftermath of reproduction, they should just butt the hell out. The world is over populated as it is.

You know, the good old days may have seemed like a calmer, quieter, more moral time. The fact is, that’s not necessarily true, nor does it take into account that technology and progress are good things. If you want to live in the past, go build a house on the Montana plains and do as you please. Churn your own butter for Pete’s sake, but do not get into politics.  I would venture to say that the vast majority of people recognize that progress is important, even if our definition of morality and acceptable behavior has to adapt as well.

John – honey I love you. I am so glad that your voice of sanity is still heard on TV. Please, do not ever sanitize your content because you may offend someone – then you will be just like them.  I do however have a bone to pick with your joke. I don’t want a manger, or anything else related to religion anywhere near my vagina.  I do get the joke – and really, it was brilliantly executed - but religion has already put in a major bid to control people’s reproductive rights for almost all of time. Let’s not even open the can of worms and let them start with that crap all over again. To be blunt, I’ll put whatever I decide in my vagina and everyone else can just butt the heck out.

Seriously US, if you keep this shit up, I will not be coming back.

Becky

S is for Stupid

Listening to: Kun Faaya Kun from Rockstar

Mood: Calm and collected – for once

As much as I wanted to use sex for my S entry, I think I’ve been preoccupied with this enough. It’s story time boys and girls. This will be outlining one of the stupidest things I have done. For sure, there are plenty.

I am such a wimp, it took me until I was 12 to be able to go sit in the chair at Claire’s at the mall an get a set of holes punched through my ears. My mom didn’t do it when I was a baby and I had a phobia for pain when I was younger. Seriously – my mom had to sit on me in order to have my shots done. It’s funny thinking about having to sit on a 12 year old for shots now. It was mainly traumatic back then.

Anywho. I do have a point here – I’m getting there. I got my first set of earrings at 12 and it wasn’t really that bad. When I was 16, I decided I wanted the cartilage at the top of my ear pierced. The thing was, I was afraid to go and get it done. So what does this genius do? That’s right boys and girls, I was stupid and did it myself. With a needle and an icecube. The piercing itself wasn’t that bad. The infection that followed was bad. My mom’s reaction when she found out was bad.  It did end up clearing up after being infected for weeks. It took me that long to figure out that the cheap nickel filled earring I was using didn’t help at all. At the time, I should have bought stock in Peroxide and Neosporin cream.

When I turned 19, I decided that I wanted set number 2 of earrings in my ears. Using a bit of common sense, I went back to Claire’s and got them done. It hurt a bit more than when I did the first ones, but they healed pretty seamlessly.

On to the peak stupidity. Right after I turned 22, I decided that I wanted to be a badass and pierce my nose. I was ghetto fabulous people. I lived in a bad part of town, had a low end job in a fast food restaurant, was hanging around with all the wrong people, and had an attitude problem the size of Texas.  I went and saw 8 mile and decided that a nose ring would definitely help me be a badass. Yes, this post is about stupidity – I freely admit it.

I was pretty sure Claire’s didn’t do nose piercings and there was no way I was going to Roger’s (the local tattoo parlor/piercing spot) and letting one of those people near me with a needle.  So. A needle and an icecube. It hurt like a son of a potato. Seriously. There was lots of pain in spite of the ice. The infection that followed lasted months, even though I used a real earring this time. My then boyfriend was so mad at me he didn’t talk to me for a week after that. If you look, you can still see a bit of grossness on my nose that was still there when I got married. That shit was infected for a long time. I went through the pain of piercing it, there was no way I was taking it out again. My bosses both had a fit. I started having to wear a piece of band aid over it as to not offend the people I was serving food to. Yep. Ghetto fabulous with the band aid on her face.

I stuck with it though. It completely healed up a few weeks after we got married.  I absolutely love it and wouldn’t get rid of it for the world now; for completely different reasons. I am no longer ghetto. It’s just become a part of my face and I’m just used to seeing it in the mirror. For me, not having it would be like waking up without an eyebrow. Something wouldn’t be right.

Many people have asked me about it over the years and I freely tell them it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Not getting my nose pierced – doing it myself. It has now been relegated to a party story my husband tells to amuse people.  And the man does tell almost every single person we know or meet that his wife pierced her own nose. I keep telling him it makes him look bad because he made the choice to marry a crazy lady, but he still tells it. It’s right up there with visiting the chicken shop. Legends boys and girls, I have them.

I have been threatened with life limb or divorce should I choose to put any more holes in my head (I have 4 sets in my ears, 1 in the cartilage, and 1 in my nose), whether by my own hand or at Claire's, so I think I'm done. I wish I had my belly button done when I was younger, but I'm sure popping out two kids would have ruined it anyways. 

What are some of the stupid choices you made when you were young? Do you regret them? Would you do them all over again?

Becky