Thursday, April 19, 2012

S is for Stupid

Listening to: Kun Faaya Kun from Rockstar
Mood: Calm and collected – for once

As much as I wanted to use sex for my S entry, I think I’ve been preoccupied with this enough. It’s story time boys and girls. This will be outlining one of the stupidest things I have done. For sure, there are plenty.

I am such a wimp, it took me until I was 12 to be able to go sit in the chair at Claire’s at the mall an get a set of holes punched through my ears. My mom didn’t do it when I was a baby and I had a phobia for pain when I was younger. Seriously – my mom had to sit on me in order to have my shots done. It’s funny thinking about having to sit on a 12 year old for shots now. It was mainly traumatic back then.

Anywho. I do have a point here – I’m getting there. I got my first set of earrings at 12 and it wasn’t really that bad. When I was 16, I decided I wanted the cartilage at the top of my ear pierced. The thing was, I was afraid to go and get it done. So what does this genius do? That’s right boys and girls, I was stupid and did it myself. With a needle and an icecube. The piercing itself wasn’t that bad. The infection that followed was bad. My mom’s reaction when she found out was bad.  It did end up clearing up after being infected for weeks. It took me that long to figure out that the cheap nickel filled earring I was using didn’t help at all. At the time, I should have bought stock in Peroxide and Neosporin cream.

When I turned 19, I decided that I wanted set number 2 of earrings in my ears. Using a bit of common sense, I went back to Claire’s and got them done. It hurt a bit more than when I did the first ones, but they healed pretty seamlessly.

On to the peak stupidity. Right after I turned 22, I decided that I wanted to be a badass and pierce my nose. I was ghetto fabulous people. I lived in a bad part of town, had a low end job in a fast food restaurant, was hanging around with all the wrong people, and had an attitude problem the size of Texas.  I went and saw 8 mile and decided that a nose ring would definitely help me be a badass. Yes, this post is about stupidity – I freely admit it.

I was pretty sure Claire’s didn’t do nose piercings and there was no way I was going to Roger’s (the local tattoo parlor/piercing spot) and letting one of those people near me with a needle.  So. A needle and an icecube. It hurt like a son of a potato. Seriously. There was lots of pain in spite of the ice. The infection that followed lasted months, even though I used a real earring this time. My then boyfriend was so mad at me he didn’t talk to me for a week after that. If you look, you can still see a bit of grossness on my nose that was still there when I got married. That shit was infected for a long time. I went through the pain of piercing it, there was no way I was taking it out again. My bosses both had a fit. I started having to wear a piece of band aid over it as to not offend the people I was serving food to. Yep. Ghetto fabulous with the band aid on her face.

I stuck with it though. It completely healed up a few weeks after we got married.  I absolutely love it and wouldn’t get rid of it for the world now; for completely different reasons. I am no longer ghetto. It’s just become a part of my face and I’m just used to seeing it in the mirror. For me, not having it would be like waking up without an eyebrow. Something wouldn’t be right.

Many people have asked me about it over the years and I freely tell them it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Not getting my nose pierced – doing it myself. It has now been relegated to a party story my husband tells to amuse people.  And the man does tell almost every single person we know or meet that his wife pierced her own nose. I keep telling him it makes him look bad because he made the choice to marry a crazy lady, but he still tells it. It’s right up there with visiting the chicken shop. Legends boys and girls, I have them.

I have been threatened with life limb or divorce should I choose to put any more holes in my head (I have 4 sets in my ears, 1 in the cartilage, and 1 in my nose), whether by my own hand or at Claire's, so I think I'm done. I wish I had my belly button done when I was younger, but I'm sure popping out two kids would have ruined it anyways. 

What are some of the stupid choices you made when you were young? Do you regret them? Would you do them all over again?


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