Friday, April 20, 2012

V is for Vagina

Listening to: My Kids Playing
Mood: Pissed.

Hello there. What a lovely day we have going on. Sky is blue…grass is green. Why yes, I am procrastinating, how did you know? I have some mad procrastinating skills. Writing is just so much more fun than working. Skipping along to V today because this just made me so angry. Watch out people, I’m digging out the soap box.

So. I was watching my absolute favorite TV host last night on the internet because Comedy Central in India isn’t able to air John the same day he tapes – probably to censor and avoid episodes that use words like vagina. Once again, the US is up to some asshattery about women and their bodies. John suggested that since we have a war on Christmas and a war on women, why not just use some Christmas to neutralize the war on women – more specifically, using a manger to keep US policy makers out of a place they have no business being. As usual, this studly TV host has a hilarious way of pointing out when people are being absurd. “The catholic church” subsequently got their panties all in a bunch. Because you know, how dare you mention Vaginas and an inference to Jesus in the same sentence? How dare you use religion to mock anything?

Catholic church, you’re up first. Would you please stop crying like a whiney little toddler? We all know the function of humor and comedians. Stop putting religion where it has no place. This is a political issue (which all too often is mixed up with religion these days). The entire point of this satire was not to skewer the church, but to skewer the politicians who seem to think it’s their prerogative to be up in people’s reproductive business. It was also a jab at the talking heads. You are not talking heads Catholic church. Get over it.

To the politicians and talking heads. You can deny it all you want, but this is in fact a systematic prejudice against women. If we told men that they would have to start taking fertility pills and that they didn’t have the choice of whether or not they wanted to share their sperm, I’m sure there would be riots. For the love of sanity and everything that is actually holy, stop acting like your personal belief system must be adopted by everyone else. You are supposed to be leading a country (or giving factual news to a country) made up of people originating from every place in the entire world. There is no central belief system. You cannot force people to go along with your morals and belief systems. We do not live in communist China. We ARE NOT communist China and for a reason. Getting all up into people’s reproductive business isn’t what America is about. Stop twisting it to fit your narrow view of right and wrong.

Giving my employer any information about my reproductive choices is absolutely absurd, not to mention having to defend my choices or be forced to follow someone else’s reproductive prerogative and prove that contraception is for health reasons. I should be forced to have more children that I can’t support or don’t want because someone high up has an agenda in the company I work for? Should my choice about eating pork, for example, be taken away if I work for a Muslim or a Jew? Are you volunteering to pay the half a million dollars per child to raise them and send them to a public college? Are you the one who has the responsibility of disciplining them and making sure they don’t turn out to be axe murderers or lazy bums who mooch off society? Are you planning to sit up and worry about them if they come home late and cry at night because you are worried about how they are growing up? I didn’t think so. Seriously. Are we back in the 18th century here? If my husband and I decide that we don’t want any more children, what business is it of anyone else? 

Having children is not a moral, religious, or social obligation for everyone, thank goodness. I do think that children are a blessing, but they also come with a very heavy emotional and monetary price tag. As with anything else, you should only have what you can afford. How is it fair to the 8th child born that you can no longer afford to feed him or her because you have a regular job and 8 kids? There’s a responsibility in deciding how many children you bring into the world. Since corporations and the government aren’t taking responsibility for the aftermath of reproduction, they should just butt the hell out. The world is over populated as it is.

You know, the good old days may have seemed like a calmer, quieter, more moral time. The fact is, that’s not necessarily true, nor does it take into account that technology and progress are good things. If you want to live in the past, go build a house on the Montana plains and do as you please. Churn your own butter for Pete’s sake, but do not get into politics.  I would venture to say that the vast majority of people recognize that progress is important, even if our definition of morality and acceptable behavior has to adapt as well.

John – honey I love you. I am so glad that your voice of sanity is still heard on TV. Please, do not ever sanitize your content because you may offend someone – then you will be just like them.  I do however have a bone to pick with your joke. I don’t want a manger, or anything else related to religion anywhere near my vagina.  I do get the joke – and really, it was brilliantly executed - but religion has already put in a major bid to control people’s reproductive rights for almost all of time. Let’s not even open the can of worms and let them start with that crap all over again. To be blunt, I’ll put whatever I decide in my vagina and everyone else can just butt the heck out.

Seriously US, if you keep this shit up, I will not be coming back.


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